The English Apostrophe Catastrophe

Thanks to all the members of SPOGG who took the time to send us this:

In Britain, it's an apostrophe catastrophe

It's a story about a decision to eliminate apostrophes from street signs. The logic is amusingly twisted.

"We keep debating apostrophes in meetings and we have other things to do," said one of the politicians.

Removing apostrophes seems a silly way to end a debate; now, the signs are all wrong. Grammarians will never let this one go.

Still, what SPOGG really objects to is the sub-headline in the MSNBC story that says "grammarians revolt."

While we aren't proud that it's nearly 3 p.m. and we still haven't taken our daily shower, we generally prefer the term "rebel" in cases like this.

"Revolt" can mean to rebel or defy authority, of course. But it's one of those words that can be easily confused, so we avoid it, much as we avoided the body-odorrific British journalist we met last week on an assignment in Los Angeles.

SPOGG is not revolting! Just a little unclean! We promise!

High Times

Police using Google maps struck gold--green gold, that is. The satellite photos revealed a marijuana plantation.

MSNBC didn't have quite the same good luck with a photo caption accompanying the story:

A cameraman films packages containing drugs during a news conference by police in Zurich, Switzerland. Swiss police stumbled across a large marijuana plantation while using Google Earth, the search engine company's satellite mapping software. Police said they arrested 16 people and 1.2 U.S. tons of marijuana as well as cash and valuables worth $780,000.

We get how they arrested people. But arresting the pot? And the cash and valuables? That seems excessive. Free the weed!

Thanks to Woody E. for the link.

Lickerish: We Have a Winner!

Let's put our hands together for Mr. Travis Peterson of Punk Rock Paint. He is the first to use lickerish in his blog--and a fine post it turned out to be. (Read the entry below if this all seems like crazy moon language. We held an impromptu contest offering Craig Conley's stellar Not Rocket Science as a prize.)

And our runner-up: The Other Side: What Women Want.

Apostrophes: Clearance Prices!

It's such a small thing, the unnecessary apostrophe in "tin's." And yet it's so annoying, especially next to the correct "boxes."

Thanks to Asa D. for the photo.

Words, Words, Words

We loved these words from Garner's Usage Tip of the Day.

libido. Although dictionaries once recorded /li-BIY-doh/ as the preferred pronunciation, /li-BEE-doh/ is now the established preference in American English.

licorice (/LiK-uh-rish/) is the standard spelling.

"Liquorice" is a variant form. This word shouldn't be confused with its uncommon homophones, "lickerish" (= lascivious, lecherous) and "liquorish" (= tasting like liquor).

If you keep a blog, please use "lickerish" in context. First person to alert us wins a copy of Not Rocket Science by the great Craig Conley.

Dear Fergie...

The word is "duchess." Seriously. Can you please just hire someone to edit your copy?

That Swearing-In Thing

We admit we rolled our eyes mightily yesterday when CNN breathlessly reported Obama was having a do-over on his swearing-in. No doubt the same people who insisted he was ineligible to be president were eagely preparing lawsuits insisting this, too, meant he was illegitimately in office. Gah! Please get over it.

In any case, we thoroughly enjoyed this New York Times bit by the brilliant Steven Pinker, which not only blames the goof on the Chief Justice--but also speculates what really was behind it: a tendency toward hypercorrect grammar.

Yo, Grammar!

Thanks, Barry!

This is What You Get for 99 Cents

Sue C. sends the following gems from Texas:

In the Houston Chronicle last week, we noticed an ad for the local 99¢ Only Stores. It said "Now open 8AM to 9PM 9 days a week!!"

We thought maybe it was a one-time typo, but noooooo--today's paper has an ad from the same store, with the same information. We think the extra two days may be located in the DiscWorld, probably in Ankh-Morpork.

I bought a package of "eclipse" gum one day last week, and it says on the front, "Natural Germ Killing Incredibly Fresh Breath!" But what does one do if one has to kill unnatural germs with one's incredibly fresh breath?!

SPOGG reads this label differently. We believe it's a natural germ--as opposed to a lab-created one--on the rampage against minty breath. This germ must be found and stopped ... before it multiplies.

Fewer, Not Less

Kanye West, in Vibe magazine:

"I wanna make popular music, but I want less fans," West tells Vibe magazine in its February issue. "I want the freedom of having less fans. It's like the freedom of having less money. If you have less money, you have less responsibility."

For a mere $1 million, we would be happy to teach him the difference between less and fewer. We are happy to take on the responsibility of such a payday, just as we're sure he'd appreciate all the freedom that relative poverty brings.