Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Distinguished Prose: No Ifs, Ands, or Butts...

A SPOGG member sends this memo she received at work (emphasis hers):
During the afternoon of March 9, 2012, the trash can near the smoking Kiosk area caught fire. After investigating the cause of the fire, it was determined, most likely, that a cigarette butt was put in the trash receptacle instead of the cigarette receptacle. If the maintenance team had not reacted immediately and DISTINGUISHED the fire, this incident could have put the Headquarters Complex in a dangerous fire situation. As a result, OOA will make recommendations to Senior Management on how to prevent or minimize such an incidence from occurring in the future. Please be advised that until a final decision is made, it is imperative that ALL cigarette butts are disposed of in the cigarette receptacles located in the designated smoking area. Thank you for your cooperation.


Unknown said...

I [insert sarcasm here] love it when I get stuff like this:

Think healthy food doesn’t taste good, or is hard to make? – If you are interested in learning how to make healthy food that will last all week then plan to join us at the Healthy Food Demo!

30 minute demos conducted by Rachel Katz Maeroff.

WPB: Wednesday, November 2, 12:30p

TAMPA: Thursday, November 3, 1p

ORLANDO: Friday, November 4, 11:30a

MIAMI: Monday, November 7, 11:30a and 12:30p

SUNTRUST: Monday, November 7, 1:30p

FORT LAUDERDALE: Friday, November 18, 1p

Location will be sent under separate email to the individual office.

Unfortunately, you can't see all the pretty colors this sender used.

Martha Brockenbrough said...

Oh, but in my head, I can see them. Fontropy: the tendency of people to use all the typefaces they have, especially when it's totally unnecessary.