This is What You Get for 99 Cents

Sue C. sends the following gems from Texas:

In the Houston Chronicle last week, we noticed an ad for the local 99¢ Only Stores. It said "Now open 8AM to 9PM 9 days a week!!"

We thought maybe it was a one-time typo, but noooooo--today's paper has an ad from the same store, with the same information. We think the extra two days may be located in the DiscWorld, probably in Ankh-Morpork.

I bought a package of "eclipse" gum one day last week, and it says on the front, "Natural Germ Killing Incredibly Fresh Breath!" But what does one do if one has to kill unnatural germs with one's incredibly fresh breath?!

SPOGG reads this label differently. We believe it's a natural germ--as opposed to a lab-created one--on the rampage against minty breath. This germ must be found and stopped ... before it multiplies.