Saturday, June 03, 2006

Fox Sports, Did You Take Your Pills?

From Fox Sports:

"Kelly Jennings started 41 games at Miami and instantly impacts the Seattle defense as a nickel back instantly. And it wouldn't shock me if he started at some point soon. And with Bryce Fisher and Grant Wistrom not getting any younger, Darryl Tapp from Virginia Tech was a very cerebral selection at the end of round 2."

Exhale. What can we say about this crazy little bit of writing? Did the author overdose on Red Vines and Mountain Dew? Or did he maybe see a cheerleader flash some nipple? He's clearly excited beyond reason, and it shows in his prose.

1) Only one instantly is necessary;
2) At some point soon? Soon says the same thing in one-quarter the word-count.
3) Not getting any younger: That whoop-whoop sound you hear is our cliche alarm, ringing.
4) A very cerebral selection: Is this a tortured way of saying, "a smart pick"?
5) Should be round two. Write out numbers one through nine.

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