A Note from School

It did not please us to receive this notice about the kindergarten concert at our daughter's elementary school:

"If you bring a small child, please keep him/her with you so it does not distract the student performers."

This solution is the worst of both worlds: clunky, and inaccurate.

We know they were trying not to raise the dander of the gender police. There is a perfectly accurate, non-offensive way to do this, however: Use the plural.

"If you bring small children, please keep them with you so they do not distract the student performers."