Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Grammar for Spammers: Cat Contest!

Finally, spam that isn't about penis enlargement. Instead, this one's about...cats (you thought we were going to say pussies, didn't you?).

SPOGG was amused enough that we are holding a contest. The person who rewrites this e-mail most persuasively (and grammatically) wins an autographed copy of THINGS THAT MAKE US [SIC]. Please post your revision in the comments section. When we have a respectable amount of replies, we will judge.


Do you need help understanding your feline?

Improve your own life by helping your cat improve their life.

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow…

Problem cat behaviours ~ UGH! We’ve all had them and we all need to know how to remedy them! In Cat Secrets Revealed, a Texan cat trainer opens up the understanding and strategies that can transform an antisocial wildcat into a lovable housecat in less than two weeks!

It’s the best way to train your cat without going crazy in the process


Cat Secrets Revealed is a simple step-by-step guide that will teach you to change the behaviour of your cat. The techniques are based on the knowledge of the feline psyche.

Only when you understand your cat’s behaviour, are you able to change it.

Don’t despair – Help is at hand – click on the link to find out more – this could change your lives – don’t delay, click today – you’ll be so glad you decided to take action.

Click Here

Yours sincerely,



Steve Goodwin

3 comments:

Ryan said...

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am sure that on occasion you have felt that you need guidance in understanding your feline friends. I would like to propose an opportunity for you to improve your life through helping improve the life of your cat.
The intelligence of a cat is much higher than that of any dog. Consequently, you may from time to time require a remedy to the problem behaviours that your cat may exhibit. Through the course of our new training program, Cat Secrets Revealed, an understanding cat trainer from Texas explains some of the strategies that can transform an antisocial wildcat to a lovable housecat in under two weeks. This program is the most reliable way to train your cat without risking your sanity in the process. The guide is very simple, and incorporates techniques taht are based on current knowledge of the feline psyche. Through understanding the behaviour of your cat you will come to change it. Not to fear, just click our link to find out more. You will be glad you chose to take action.

Sincerely,

Steve Goodwin

Marketing said...

Subject:
Cat Secrets Revealed - a simple step-by-step guide available now

Copy:
As a cat lover, you are sure to know that there are as many pleasant cat behaviors as unpleasant. Cats can be loving and attentive pets, but can also take on unfortunate habits that can test your relationship.

However, these problem behaviors can be remedied. A new step-by-step guide is now available to help you understand the secrets of your cat’s psyche while giving you tips and tricks to remedy the bad behaviors and reward the good.

Visit www.URL.com today to order your copy and start enjoying a better, more loving and synergistic relationship with your feline friend!

Martha Brockenbrough said...

Ryan and "Marketing," I have decided you're both winners... can you e-mail me your mailing addresses and full names, please?