Oh, Mariah

Xavier sends along some of the lyrics from Mariah Carey's new song:

If there's a camera up in here
Then it's gonna leave with me
When I do (I do)
If there's a camera up in here
Then I'd best not catch this flick
On YouTube (YouTube)
'Cause if you run your mouth and brag
About this secret rendezvous
I will hunt you down
'Cause they be all up in my bidness
Like a Wendy interview
But this is private
Between you and I

Between you and I? It's "between you and me." Always.

Mariah, you are now on our list, along with Bryan Adams, Paula Cole and others who've botched this. You don't want to be on our list, because some day, we might actually do something with it.

We will not get in your "bidness" about your other artistic choices in this song, if you can just get this one thing right from now on.

There's being authentic to your culture—that's your bidness—and then there's just a hideous error that you can find in any old place, coming from any old mouth. This one's just an ugly, common goof.

We expect more out of you, especially after Christmas 1994, when we listened to your Christmas album approximately 1,000 times in a row, thanks to our younger brother's understandable obsession. You looked so cute in that Santa suit.