Thursday, March 30, 2006

a*n*G*r*y E-mail

We think we know what Marilyn Manson is doing with his free time: writing us a*n*G*r*y e-mail under the pen name "AsTrO."
We will do him the favor of editing his work:

You recently did wrote an article on fashion, and how trends are repeated through history. During In the article, you bashed several music sensations (Editor's note: By "sensations," he means Britney Spears and Marilyn Manson. Britney Spears, yes. But Marilyn Manson? Tee hee!). Of the few you mentioned by name, the one thatspan style="COLOR: rgb(204,0,0)"> who caught my eye was Marilyn Manson. I've contacted you for rebuttle rebuttal purposes. (Editor's note: or, "to make a rebuttal." But while we're on the topic, do these pants make my rebuttle look big?)

Although ancient Egyptian men wore makeup to accentuate their appearances, Marilyn Manson wears makeup for shock value. He's not concerned with how he looks to others; he's concerned with what he looks like for to himself. To himself, he's beautiful. (Editor's note: Milk just shot out our noses!) Furthermore, anyone with half a brain agrees. (Editor's note: Certainly. But what about the people with whole brains? They're much smarter.)

That wasn't my reason for e-mailing you, but it makes a good segway segue for my actual point. (Editor's note: a Segway is a gyroscopic scooter.) My point is: SHUT UP. Nobody gives a flying rat's fuck about what you think about modern culture. (Editor's note: You've seen a flying rat? I'd like to write about that.) You're too old, too fat, and too wrapped up in "Good ol' family values" to be making critical statements., Pparticularly when you do so on the iInternet. The iInternets is OUR medium., I suggest you stick with the local two 2-bit, one 1-horse-town newspaper that shit you into the spotlight. (Editor's note: What's the Internets? Can you get on the Net from there? Also, I thought he was going to tell me to get back on my one-horse open sleigh. That would have been cool.)

Deal with it. (Editor's note: Done!)


And this one, from Lexi Malone, size 0...

I just got done finished reading your 5 Weirdest Fashion Trends. I was appalled… to say the least. Who are you to say what is weird? Bare-midriff’s; why shouldn’t we all be free to express ourselves through clothing whether it be someone else’s idea or our own? (Editor's note: Too many mistakes to correct. But if Lexi can express herself with her navel, why shouldn't the rest of us express ourselves with actual words?) If you don’t want to see it, turn your head. It seems like all the “trends” you’ve scrutinized were that of people who by “society standards” find attractive, partake in regularly. (Editor's note: Again, hopeless.) The pointy shoes, tanning, men wearing makeup. Who cares if people want to wear pointy shoes? How is it affecting you? How are people wearing their undies as clothing affecting you? (Editors note: Undies as clothing.... So that's what they're for!) Can’t turn your head? Or is it that your husband who can’t? What’s really the root of your rants? Could this be that you are jealous of women who wear the midriff-baring clothing, simply because you are can’t? You certainly can’t blame this on being a mother…..having babies doesn’t make you incapable of wearing following the trends. I’m a proud mother of a 7-month-old baby boy (Cameron) and I still maintain a size 0 (Editor's note: Passing on the easy IQ joke.). I just think that your discontentment disdain for these “fashionable” trends may stem from issues with your self? . Maybe instead of judging people for their fashion chooses choices, you should simply shut your mouth, turn your head, and get over it judge them for their grammar. (Editor's note: OK!)

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