More Tales from the Casting Couch

These are real casting calls sent to us by an up-and-coming Hollywood actress. Enjoy!

Looking for tanner, alto, and soprano
Lend me a tenor.

imagine star wars with black eyed pees madonna and justin timberlake
Does this really need commentary?

You will be laying in a body bag wearing a thing and bra with blood all over.
I assume they meant "thong" instead of "thing," but I'm not sure which is more horrifying.

Role: Cool Girl's
What is she, other than cool? What does she possess?

Role type: Looser brother
Looser than what, exactly?

Could you play like a half goldminer half serial killer half hillbilly?
That all adds up to one-point-five, but sounds really ten-point-oh on the crazy scale.

please send two shirtless photos-- including one of your back (if you have one).
If you are a backless alien, you may still apply.