Tuesday, June 19, 2007

We're Barfing on the Inside

While researching verbs, we encountered a little gift from the federal government. And by gift, we mean freaky and disturbing propaganda campaign in which they have trademarked the word "verb" and coined another, "yellowball," to get our kids exercising.

We quote (verbatim):

VERB™ It’s what you do. is a national, multicultural, social marketing campaign* coordinated by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

* Social marketing campaigns apply commercial marketing strategies to influence the voluntary behavior of target audiences to improve personal and social welfare.

Even more choice language from this campaign:

Nothing replaces the rush and exhilaration of physical activity. Yellowball ignites desire for physical activity freeing kids to play out their dreams — I can't NOT play!

We recognize that obesity is a serious health problem. But we don't think randomly distributed yellow rubber balls, trademarked parts of speech and improperly inserted periods are the solution. Funding and time set aside for PE classes would be a bit more effective, we daresay.

But we digress. And we'll move on to other other social programs that could make good use of parts of speech.

ColonTM. It's what you probe. is a national, multicultural, social marketing campaign* coordinated by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) to get more adults to have colonoscopies. (Partner program is SemicolonTM. It's what you're left with if you don't get scoped.)


CommaTM. It's when you pause. is a national, multicultural, social marketing
campaign* coordinated by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) to encourage drivers to slow
down at unrestricted intersections.

PeriodTM. It's what you miss. is a national, multicultural, social marketing
campaign* coordinated by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) to encourage contraceptive use
by sexually active teenagers. Wait, no, scratch that. Abstinence-only education
has been proven to be a more ineffective way to spend tax dollars.

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