Should the Comma Be Offended?

From the New York Times:

Sperm are also fast and as cute as tadpoles. They have chubby teardrop heads and stylish, tapering tails, and they glide, slither, bumble and do figure-eights. So while a father may not be entitled to take the same pride in his sperm as he does in his kids, it's fair to celebrate the single-minded cellular commas that helped give those children their start.

Are we now going to compare the asterisk to the anus? (*) The pound sign to the vagina? (#) The exclamation point to, well, the penis? (!) It's punctuation, people. Let's show a little respect.