When Quotation Marks Attack

Not only do we appreciate good grammar, we also appreciate how it feels to have, on occasion, a good hair day. So, we recently purchased a beauty product.

The IMPORTANT SAFETY INSTRUCTIONS that came with the product, however, gave us small seizures. This happens every time quotation marks appear where they are not needed.

And we quote:

To reduce the risk of death by electric shock:

1. Always "unplug it" immediately after using.
2. Do not use while bathing.
3. If an appliance falls into water, "unplug it" immediately. Do not reach into
   the water.

We have only one thing to say about these quotation marks. "Unplug them."