Man Bites Panda in the What?

You know, if we were biting a panda, we'd go for his a$.

If we were writing that headline, however, we would have said, "Beijing zoo panda bites man, man retaliates." But that's just us. We're sticklers for clarity (and before you write to correct our punctuation, headlines don't have semicolons).

We love that they identified the masticating man as a "drunken migrant worker." Would they have done that if he were a "drunken televangelist" or "soused physician"? We doubt it. Poor migrant workers. They don't get a break anywhere. Not even at the zoo.

Thanks to SPOGG scout G. Whipple for this one.