Sign of the Times: Drive ... Nice?

Bless Miriam K's heart. She took this photo while running a half-marathon in Seattle.

This is one of those tweener grammar issues. You no doubt remember the "Think Different" campaign for Apple. That was legitimate--they were not telling us to think in another way, but rather, to think about what it means to be different. It's a slight difference in construction, but a big difference in meaning. It's much better to be encouraged to think about the world-changing outliers than it is to be told the way you're currently thinking is faulty.

On this one, though, we wish the makers of the sign hadn't flattened the adverb. "Drive nicely" is admittedly stodgy, but "drive nice" doesn't, to us, convey any extra meaning.

We do wish they'd had a typo and written "DRIVE MICE." We've always wanted to saddle up one of those bad boys.

Oh, and if you are interested in learning more about linking verbs, which are legitimately followed by adjectives and not adverbs, click here for some helpful information.

Probably Too Late for This Guy

Education, eductaion. Potato, potao. We fear for the future.

Seattle folk: Get a discount on a writing seminar

If you live in the Pacific Northwest, you might enjoy an upcoming seminar on July 26 at the University of Phoenix Bellevue Learning Center.


The instructor, John Sturtevant, is offering a big discount to friends of the Society for the Promotion of Good Grammar ($275 instead of the regular $425 price).


Here's info about the event:


Get the confidence and skills you need to think clearly and write what you mean.

Information is plentiful in every organization. But how you communicate that information is critical. You must continually turn information into knowledge to help your managers, colleagues, and customers understand often complex ideas, and make educated decisions.

Clear writing starts with clear thinking.

John Sturtevant's Business Writing Seminar is an energetic, fun, challenging, and thought-provoking day packed with new ideas and practical techniques – all designed to give you the confidence to master what people struggle with the most – how to think clearly and write what you mean.
What you’ll learn:

• The most important goal in writing (it’s not what you think).
• The #1 question on every reader’s mind (you’re thinking it right now).
• Why thinking about tomatoes will make you a better writer (it really works!)
• 4 ways to define your objective and expected outcome.
• Listening skills that help you identify your reader’s perspective.
• How to understand, and answer, your reader’s expectations.
• Why format, style, and organization contribute to clear writing.
• Persuasive-writing structure and techniques that produce results.
• Dozens of other practical ideas you can use immediately!

Who should attend:

Managers, technical professionals, business analysts, sales and marketing pros, administrative staff – everyone who has to communicate their ideas throughout the work day.

In this interactive full-day session, you will collaborate on problem-solving exercises, write and revise assignments, and learn from others through peer critiques.

You’ll also learn and practice the principles of analysis and argument. In business, you most often write to convince others to do something – approve a budget, change a process, support a project, and dozens of other kinds of decisions. You’ll learn how to think analytically and form a logical, persuasive argument.

For more information or to register, click here. (Be sure to click the Friend of SPOGG option.)

We'd Almost Like to Work with This Guy

From Craigslist (via Tiffany O.):

Help needed writing my way out of paper bag (telecommute)

---

Date: 2011-06-17, 7:55PM CDT
Reply to: job-wsvvu-2447219390@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

---

I'm trying to write some light humor pieces, and need a second pair of eyes. I'm not so much a Strunk and White guy as a drunken white guy. Help save me from myself and my creative punctuation.

This would be very infrequent, and by the piece.

• Location: telecommute
• Compensation: United States
• Telecommuting is ok.
• Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
• Please, no phone calls about this job!
• Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 2447219390

We Don't Care How Good Jim Tastes

Nor do we care that he is free of that pesky gluten. We're just not ready to become cannibals.

(Thanks to Cristin F. for the photo.)

We Have No Further Comment

Thanks to Samantha for the photo.

Paging Dr. Freud

The misspelling of "Osama" is, perhaps, the worst Freudian slip of the year. It's not as though the S and B are even close to each other on the keyboard.

Sign. By. Shatner.

If you read all the extraneous punctuation in this sign, it sounds a little bit like you're using the William Shatner Method of Dramatic Acting (with a touch of the Mike Myers "Ax Murderer" poetry inflection thrown in for good measure).

Thanks to Craig Conley (who has a new iPad app for Scrabble lovers who want to use all their consonants) for the photo, and to Kevin Emerson (who has a new vampire book out) for the Shatner joke.

They Had Us At Menopause

Oh, it's just a small thing, really -- that extra apostrophe in "its." But we'd like the record to reflect that our brains are functioning well enough that we recognized that errant bit of punctuation.

Confidential to the people who write these ads: the liberal use of bold text, enlarged text, italics, and bold italics, along with an exclamation point, does not make the study sound any more appealing. We're middle aged, not moronic. 


Thanks to Linnea D. for sending the image along.

So That's What She Does with the Extra Virgin Olive Oil

Thanks to assorted SPOGGers who sent this along, we now know that Rachael Ray is a cannibal. A cannibal who not only gets nutrition from cooking her family and her dog, but also inspiration.

We think we're going to barf right about ... now.

(And yes, this demonstrates why commas are sometimes very necessary. But next time we're hungry, we'll be sure to consult her recipe for cooking family members. Some of our nieces and nephews look delicious.)

Update: Tails magazine says the cover was Photoshopped. It's still funny, though.