Tales from the Casting Ouch: Thanksgiving Edition

Many thanks to our favorite Hollywood actress for sending along these assorted casting call errors, along with her witty rejoinders. We are so thankful!

Lot's of singing, lot's of solo's.
Lots of incorrect apostrophes.

Que cardAre you prepared to wait in line?
We will be auctioning actors.I really hope not, because people are priceless.
She suffers from skitsafrania.Unless that is a term you've made up on purpose in an attempt to be funny for a comedy skit, misspelling your character's condition on a casting call makes you seem uneducated.

Casting: All types. Send headshot resume. Email for more information.
How nice to be so specific!

Recent apostrophe catastrophes:

I Can't Take My Eye's Off You
2 partner's
All ethnicity's

A recent tweet from Steve Martin @SteveMartinToGo read:

Feeling slightly i'll. UH OH. ROGUE APOSTROPHE.

An Epidemic of Anus

Once was funny. Twice made us feel sick. A third time--even with a slightly different recipe--is an epidemic of ick. We're talking about restaurants that misspell the word "Angus."

Behold the McDonald's sign we swiped from our uncle's Facebook feed:

Here is a previous post on the topic. We recall writing a third one using a photograph our brother sent but were unable to dig the link out of our archives.

Ignoring the fact that two out of three of these sightings came from our own relatives, let us just say that it is wildly disturbing that the people with their hands on our meat supply don't know the difference between "anus" and "Angus."

There is a big difference. Gargantuan. Galactic. Ginormous. Gee, how we wish they'd learn it.

Of Mice and Men

We're not entirely sure what's going on here.

What's the dude in the chair doing on a billboard? And why would we want to go somewhere mice hang out? We spend a lot of time avoiding our basement for that very reason.

Nonetheless, we thank our globetrotter, Kjersten H., for the delightfully disturbing photo.

Justin Bieber, We Are Disappointed

Oh, Justin Bieber. We just saw that you're calling your memoir First Step 2 Forever: My Story.

We know you weren't born yet when M.C. Hammer was doing his "2 legit... 2 legit 2 quit" hands.

We also know that you were born in Canada, a land somewhat sheltered from our crazy brand of American cool.

But we need you to know that it's no longer cool or rebellious or fresh or punky or anything other than lazy to use numerals as a shortcut.

This is your book, Justin. It is forever--or at least until it goes out of print. When you're contemplating forever, we recommend taking the time to spell words out. Trust us. No one will think you're a dork.

If you are worried about such things, though, we think your hairstyle is the much bigger risk to your rep. You've taken the artfully tousled Zac Efron hair helmet from 2006 and turned it into something that resembles a blond bathing cap.

We do love you, though. We really do. Please get it right in your next memoir.

It Must Be Monday

So what'll it be for today? A nihilist mattress? (Actually, it might be existentialist, depending on how you read it. Discuss in comments if you care to; we need more coffee first.)

Or a government sign demanding that we do the impossible?

Thanks to Linnea D. for the inscrutable turn sign.

The Worst Part about Big Government

You know government is too big when it takes away the letter N from protest signs. In solidarity, we will call that ufair. We will also complai about this scadal util someoe does somethig about it. Like the military. Or the police. Or maybe the fire departmet.

Oh, wait. Those are all governmental agencies. Never mind.

Thanks to Tamara K. for the photo.  

Warning: Dirty Jokes Ahead

Close, but no, um, cigar. Wait, no. This sign--it is a hair off. Hoo-hah! Missing letters just make us crotchety, we guess.

If only the URL had been southbendover.com, we would have died of laughter (giddy and juvenile laughter, but still).

And we wouldn't want to go to this school, either. Not with their non-standardized form of testing.

Tales from the Casting Ouch

And now for the September edition of our Hollywood bloopers feature. These are authentic casting calls sent to us by our friend the actress, along with her commentary:

Lot's of singing, lot's of solo's.
Lots of typos.

Queue card
Are you prepared to wait in line?

We will be auctioning actors.
I really hope not, because people are priceless.

She suffers from skitsafrania.
Unless that is a term you've made up on purpose in an attempt to be funny for a comedy skit, misspelling your character's condition on a casting call makes you seem uneducated.

Forgive Us--We Are Cranky

What the hell kind of word is "babyz"? Other than the perfect word to describe a game that lets people turn babies all tarty and stuff, that is.

We hereby challenge you all to find worse fake marketing words than "babyz." We doubt it can be done, though as we admitted before, we are wearing our crankypants and they are TWO SIZES TOO SMALL.

We Won't Dispute the Accuracy of This

That said, we think the word they wanted was "collision."

Thanks to Greg Pincus for the screen shot from the AOL home page.

We're sure this has brought a post-mortem giggle to the cryogenically frozen remains of Dr. Freud hidden somewhere in our nation's capital*. (Has anyone thought to look for them in Joe Biden's liquor cabinet?)

* We originally had this as "capitol," which with a capital C refers to the Capitol building, but with the "a" properly refers to the capital city.