Thursday, January 13, 2011

Best Fake Words in Apology Ever

Thanks to Gawker and Kat G. for this apology from Ricky Romance to Chris Brown.

George W. Bush and Sarah Palin make up words, but they are the mere typing monkeys to the Shakespeare that is Ricky R. Behold:  

I would like to extend my most sincere apologies to the elderly and youth of our nation for my sudden acrasial message of violence towards other individuals of unimportance."
I must eclaircise any misunderstandings that I am a Man of irrational aggression and behavior.
In no way am I attempting to justify my actions towards persons of high immaturity levels and hypocritical methods of "becoming a better person," I was wrong.
My unexpected reaction to fallaciloquences embellished with deceitful humgruffin cover-ups and unnecessary remarks towards my younger brother enraged me.
I couldn't seem to fathom how a immature nanocephalous adult raglan tailored ex-batman and a jean maillot wearing macrotus, labrose, kazachoc like dancing, woman beater callent could make such comments and pass judgment to an abuse victim.
At the moment I was infuriated. Please let my actions be as a lesson as what not to do. You must vastate yourself to aggression and search for other solutions before reacting.
Threatening closet coward human beings only leads their tearful plea for restraining orders, desperate cries for help from "affiliating gang bangers", and countless whiney excuses -I.E. "she hit me first!!" to the media and courts, which could possibly result unwanted circumstances.
As for the once semi high powered homosexual perverts, molesters and child rapists of the Industry, I vaticinate justice will be brought to you on Judgment Day.
I leave this to God though. Please except my apology, obviously knowing the message can always be heard if ears are around . Thank you.
- Ricky Romance

6 comments:

ChildsPlay said...

My astoundification knowns no boundage.

Rebekah said...

Nothing says "disingenuous" like an apology full of made-up words.

Martha Brockenbrough said...

Do you think it's a fauxpology? Or is he simply crazy? When you're dealing with a grown man still using the name Ricky, it's extremely difficult to tell such things.

andygirl said...

What do you think he's trying to say? It's like he's trying to speak English, but another language is coming out.

Mike said...

"Please except my apology...."

What a moron.

Paul said...

My school librarian and I enjoy the terms humgruffin and tailored ex-batman.