Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Justin Bieber, We Are Disappointed

Oh, Justin Bieber. We just saw that you're calling your memoir First Step 2 Forever: My Story.

We know you weren't born yet when M.C. Hammer was doing his "2 legit... 2 legit 2 quit" hands.

We also know that you were born in Canada, a land somewhat sheltered from our crazy brand of American cool.

But we need you to know that it's no longer cool or rebellious or fresh or punky or anything other than lazy to use numerals as a shortcut.

This is your book, Justin. It is forever--or at least until it goes out of print. When you're contemplating forever, we recommend taking the time to spell words out. Trust us. No one will think you're a dork.

If you are worried about such things, though, we think your hairstyle is the much bigger risk to your rep. You've taken the artfully tousled Zac Efron hair helmet from 2006 and turned it into something that resembles a blond bathing cap.

We do love you, though. We really do. Please get it right in your next memoir.



5 comments:

Ticketwood said...

The Biebs is giving fans one more reason to give him a hand at his scream-inducing concerts, with a line of glittery nail polish aptly dubbed, “One Less Lonely Girl.” This week they giving away Justin Bieber tickets to the hottest show in the Bay Area. it would be a dream for Justin Bieber fans.

ChildsPlay said...

2 true.

andygirl said...

Oh geez. Where do I even begin? The Beaver wrote a memoir? He's 12. How much could he possibly say? Maybe it's just very short. Or every other word is like.

On the up side, I now have "2 legit 2 quit" in my head.

bwagner said...

Why, oh why? This is sad :|

didyouseethis said...

I can't complain about anything the Bieber does. My three month old grandson laughs and squeals to the "Baby" video. I'm not sure *why* my daughter was watching Bieber videos...but anything that soothes a grouchy baby...:)