"Signage"

We have detested the word "Signage" since we worked as an intern in the corporate communications department at a bank, where it was used as a synonym for signs. Why use fancy jargon when a plain word will do?

In the years since, we have learned that signage can also refer to the design and display of signs. We never thought we'd talk about signage, but we have just learned that "never" is an awfully long time.

It's not quite as long as we had to wait last night for a shuttle at the Baton Rouge airport, but still.

(Seriously. After our 10-hour journey complete with an unexpectedly long layover in Dallas, those chowderheads kept us waiting more than 40 minutes because of a "situation" they would not describe. When we inquired about the nature of the delay, we were told it was "none of your business," even though it was after midnight, and SPOGG was alone and tired and therefore did have some legitimate business wondering where the jiminy-hey the shuttle was and what was so important the driver couldn't pick her up.

Well, we weren't totally alone at the airport. There was a woman in a white van who kept getting out, walking around in a wobbly circle, then getting back in. If you've ever wondered what might be less comforting than the sight of a van with tinted windows after midnight when you are alone on the street, it is a van driver who appears to be running out of batteries and is trying to wind herself up manually.)

Now that we have vented about our misadventure at the airport, we can lob a bomb in the general direction of the shuttle signage. It said, and we quote:

WELCOME ENJOY YOUR STAY

It almost hurts to type such an unfelicitous run-on sentence. Would it have killed them to put some punctuation in that sign? Who's in charge of the signage around here? Can we have their heads on sticks? Should we write them a letter full of umbrage?

That, after all, is our business: protecting innocent punctuation marks and grammatical rules. No matter what that shuttle driver said.