Thursday, October 20, 2011

It's Never Too Early to Learn to Spell


It's "whore," you little dummy. WHORE.*

*Oh, we're only kidding. They prefer to be called sex workers.**

**Just kidding. Call them Nancy.***

*** We'll stop now, as we're starting to look like a hores's ass.

8 comments:

GenKnit said...

Martha, Martha, Martha! This is an example of "writing to get the story out," rather than following silly rules about grammar and spelling! No one needs to know how to spell or punctuate any more. Computers do all that for you. Didn't you know?

New Writing is just like New Math: "... so simple, so very simple, that only a child can do it!"

Sue.

P.S. Just in case anyone wonders, yes, I was being sarcastic.

GenKnit said...

P.P.S. I should have credited Tom Lehrer above.

Martha Brockenbrough said...

GenKnit, you still need to know math so that you can figure out how much the hore is gonna cost.

MLA said...

Still think it's a bit heavy handed to pick on a 3rd grader. The story is told, and there will be time for this kid to get the spelling right as he/she grows and learns. I would much rather you focused your examples on the errors made by professional writers, editors, and copy readers. This being said, I enjoy your efforts on this blog.

Martha Brockenbrough said...

We hope it's clear that we're not actually picking on a third grader. This is an example of the hilarious kind of spelling errors children make with our ridiculously non-phonetic language. English spelling is such that it takes kids longer to learn to read and write, and they make more errors. We hoped our over-the-top tone would make it clear that it's all in good fun.

Lexey said...

When children make these mistakes, it is hilarious. When adults make these mistakes, it is terribly sad. Thanks for the laugh!

Eccentric Scholar said...

Re: MLA's comment, Martha's piece isn't actually picking on a third grader, as the text in question is patently a spoof created by an adult, meant to look like a child's accidental double entendres.

ANOther said...

Perhaps it's prescient? In the UK we are taught that the English 'horse' comes by metathesis from the old norse 'hross'. Perhpas 'hores' is a new metathesis reflecting the schwa often to be heard between the 'r' and 's' in young speakers?