Tuesday, September 07, 2010

We Want This Book Anyway

From the flap copy of How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack:
There’s a new threat in town—and it’s only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless yard decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And it’s here.   

Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defense expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven system—Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply—for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognizing and interpreting the signs of a gathering hoard, and—in the event that a secured perimeter is breached—confronting and combating the attackers at close range.
It's wreak havoc, not wreck. We're just going to blame this one on the gnomes. The book comes out today, by the way. We would really like to watch a gnome attack, preferably on our neighbors who've been using a jackhammer all week.

5 comments:

Randy James said...

Still, I think a gnome could wreck havoc as well...

E said...

It's also horde, not hoard.

Lisa said...

At least they aren't reeking it, like some havoc dealers.

Martha Brockenbrough said...

E, good catch!

Chuck said...

Good catches - both. I need to change my promo copy!

Chuck
www.gnomeattack.com