Not Quite Mary Poppins

From a Craigslist ad written by a prospective nanny:

Exp'd, Loving, Conscious [sic]  Nanny Available

Unfortunately, we're only in the market for an unconscious nanny.

Thanks to Kate R. for the find. And good luck with the nanny search.

There Is No U in Flowers

But there are two of them in "bouquets."

The spelling teacher probably needs a dozen incentive tulips (which are different from apology daisies and attempted-seduction roses).

Thanks to Matt K. for the photo.

Oh, Red (Pen) State...

You know the expression "so wrong it's right?"

Yeah, well, that doesn't apply here. All of these errors still add up to a big, fat yikes, and as Sara J. of Mobile, Alabama puts it, "This does not help southern Alabama shed its backwoods image."

Cue the banjos, y'all. It's been that sort of week.

It's "know," not "no." It's "you're," not "your." And it should be "supposed to," not "suppose to." A little punctuation wouldn't hurt, either. All that said, the onion rings look really good.

Don't Drink and Dress

Look, we'd drink margaritas every day if we could. They're delicious! So tangy and salty!

But, just as we love our liver, we would never use the apostrophe to make a plural, nor would we spell everyday as one word, unless we were saying something to the effect of "Margarita is ordinary."

Thanks to Alan H. for the photo.

This Makes Us Hear Banjo Music

The price is right. But we do sort of wonder what he charges for the "open."*

* CONSCIENCE: Is that thinly veiled sex joke taking it a bit too far?

PERSONAL DEMONS: What are you talking about? Look, nipples!

CONSCIENCE: You should probably step away from the keyboard.

PERSONAL DEMONS: You shore got a purty mouth.

Thanks to Meredith for the photo.